Let Go and Be Let Go

Whether you’re feeling frustration, resentment, anger, or guilt you’re bound to the recipient of that emotion by those feelings.  When you let go of those feelings, they let go of you.  You’re not longer tied to the person or situation that evokes them.  You are free to move on.

 

What are you holding onto?

 

For many years, I really wanted to lose weight.  I went to Weight Watchers.  And while it’s a good program, it wasn’t the right one for me.  I didn’t have a lot to lose.  I didn’t even have a lot to learn.  That could, of course, be because I had been attending Weight Watchers meetings on and off since high school.  That being said, I took it very seriously.  And I was intensely focused on the number on the scale each week.  I would fearfully approach the scale and tentatively climb on.  If the number didn’t decrease sufficiently for my liking, I was crushed.  I would cry to the woman in the little room who writes down your weight on your attendance card.  One woman even generously gave me her home phone number in case I ever needed to talk.  That was the last day I went to Weight Watchers.

 

I didn’t stop going out of embarrassment or frustration.  I realized that whatever I was looking for out of this weight loss journey, I wasn’t going to find it there.  I talked to my doctor, who recommended a couple things.  I followed her advice.  And most importantly, I stopped weighing myself.  I haven’t weighed myself in more than four years.  Yes, I step on the scale at the doctor’s office, or occasionally at home (my scale lives in the closet) but, by and large, I don’t care what number I am.  I care how my clothes fit.  And I care how I feel.  But a number is no longer rule my emotions the way it did back then.

 

When I let go of the anger, frustration and fear of what the scale would say, it let go of me.  For a long time I thought I needed that number to decrease in order to feel good about how I looked.  But when I swore off the scale, I was able to move on.  And I realized I didn’t need to be a smaller number to feel great.  In fact, the attachment to the lower number made me feel worse.  I feel greater than ever since I stopped weighing myself.  And beyond feeling, I know I look better than ever, too.

 

Writing prompt:  What are you holding onto that’s no longer serving you?  What would it mean to let it go?  How would you feel if you let it go?  What can you do to let it go?

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About amandab714

an emotional observer... an idealistic documenter...
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